simplify

Simplify. cutting out the busy and just simplifying life. My husband said it recently "I wish life was just simpler sometimes". It stuck with me. I wish life was simpler and easier too. I was finding myself frustrated with everything lately and hardly enjoying any days. The house is a mess, the kids are fighting, my husband works a million hours, money is tight, trying to balance home life with how to also run a little photography and art business, stay ahead of the game, fulfill myself, my marriage and my home family life. Everything kind of came to a head at the same time where 100 problems suddenly abrupt and I start to really look at them sit and think, I need to fix this!! Work things out and look at them logically, why are my kids acting this way, why am I? I am desperate and something has got to change!!  And its like it so simply makes sense with one word. SIMPLIFY. Simplify life. Remove the distractions. Rest. Be with your family. Not just present but remove the business of life and just enjoy them, and TRUST ME with the rest.

God has talked to me so much about letting go of next year. Stop pushing for work just stop. Rest, reconnect with God, myself, my husband and my kids. Stop trying to perform and fix life. Resting on myself to fix problems instead of trusting him is just not the way to go. 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God'. I'm not a bible quoter but really i find this to be true right now. Seek Him. Rediscover 'him and me alone' where it is is free and nothing else matters. Knowing and living loved. I've been playing the 'he loves me, he loves me not' when things go right or wrong. I've been grabbing trying to provide for ourselves with most efforts gone to shit. I've lost my trust. And in the meantime been clouded by so many things that waste my time, steal my joy and cause anxiety. Simplify.

Earlier in the year I sat on my ipod, it has a giant crack down the middle. I was disappointed at first but I felt God show me almost right away, he wants to break the devices that distract us from what really matters. For me my ipod (i don't have a cell phone) was a problem. It was clouding me from seeing what mattered - my family. It sucked my time and energy and kept me distracted from connecting. I hate to see people out with their kids with a cell phone in their face ignoring their kids or the people they are with, but I was doing it at home. With a laptop or an ipod, with an art project, painting or editing, with cleaning the house or a phone call. I was missing out and I was showing them that everything else I was doing was more important than them. I came to this realization 6 months ago. you know i'm still doing it. I'm still fighting it. This week I have had a major wake up call to this problem of busy-ness and distractions And I'm being called to simplify and the first step is to remove distractions.  I am tired and worn and with another baby on the way I need to get life back in its right priorities.