Thursday, September 30, 2010

"Paint for the masses"

A store owner said this to me the other day. "Do you want to be a starving artist forever? I know it goes against every grain in your body and makes you cringe, but get published, paint for the masses. Surrender to WALL ART"

It has been going over and over since he said it. Paint for the masses...

WALL ART. It isn't unique, you can buy it in home outfitters. it is often large beige splashes of abstract shades or trees with low horizons, or something graphic on a crappy stretched canvas or shitty frame. That's why it's cheap. it's boring.

I must admit, I have considered selling a 'decore' collection, where everything is really cheap and looks like this massively produced art. Just becuase if someone is willing to pay $300 for one at a store, I'd rather just paint it for you and you pay me the $300 b/c at least then it would be original and you would be supporting a local artist and not some mass big box store.

Paint for the masses... does it have to be boring? does it have to look cheap with fake paint splashes and stuff stuck to it to create fake texture? Most importantly, Does it have to be a sell out to the art market? i was surprised to come across probably the most talented artist I know, he is an incredibly respected gallery and commercial artist and is published by Canadian Art Prints. I would never expect him to surrender to Wall art. But he did it with style, the way I'd like to if I did it, he did it with uniqueness while still relating to a wide audience.

Ok I'll admit there is some cool stuff like this.

This to me is awesome, like some amazing sculptural installation. This is great Wall art. It is unique, it is special, and can you believe is mass produced?

So maybe it is just one series of everything you paint, maybe it is not everything. but maybe it helps you pay your bills and get you to the next month... Paint for the masses.. I need to express my heart, I think God will open up the doors for me to sell original art like he has been, but maybe there are other doors, unopened, unexplored. Maybe he will use me and my stuff to speak to the masses his awesomeness, though something unique, special but received by many.

I had a dream the other day, that I am in my house, standing in a room I never considered as a usable room, just a walking space, it is unswept, beige, with crappy flat weave carpeting, and a hanging light buLb with a bathtub chain pull cord. There were a few boxes, perhaps a small desk but mostly it was empty and underutilized. There was more to the dream but this room I think symbolized me and my art, my creativity. i am not utilizing it at the moment, i am not using it to it's fullest potential. I think that God designed that Room to be full of colour, beautifully organized with gorgeous decore, an easle and drafting table, books to the ceiling, a beautiful bed, with lush fabrics. It is meant to be a room full of life, luxurious and purposeful.

Paint for the masses. I need to sit on it. I would love to paint for him and speak to the masses. So how do we do it.. maybe not such a cope out like I originally felt. but perhaps an excellent opportunity.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Catch the Fire Toronto

this past weekend I had the proveledge to paint for the Catch the Fire Conference at Catch the Fire Main Campus (previously Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship). I had a wonderful time, painting live in worship and soaking in all of his goodness.

I had the opportunity to paint with a wonderful Friend, Katrina Weafer. God totally came and we had a wonderful time. She painted this beautiful piece and I'm so happy she had such a great time. I can't wait to paint with you again girl!

God spoke to me about some amaaazing stuff, I so enjoyed myself painting and letting him download. wooooohaaaaa!!! Here are the 2 pieces I painted this weekend. If you are interested in a print or an original reproduction, send me an email

God showed me this picture of his hands holding the baby, what a wonderful image of how much our papa loves us and is always there for us protecting us, and holding us in his arms of love.

"Safe Place"
20 x 40
mixed media

"The Promise"
20 x 40
mixed media

I was extremely excited to paint this piece. Many words come to mind, and he has been pressing deep into my heart, to come take his hand, even when I don't understand, to trust him, to come walk, to run and to fly. He says 'my beloved, it is my promise that I am always here.'

now i am busy with some commissions but can't wait till the next conf and what he shows me and paints with me next!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Things I am learning:

- how to knit
- remembering to turn off the lights
- pick up after myself and clean up my "projects" b/c my piles aren't as accepted by others as well as they are by myself.
- check around for the lowest price before buying (wow me? being thrifty?? buying diapers and a ton of baby shit will do that i think)
- slowly I am becoming less grossed out to the slime and mess feeding a baby solids. (is that learning? i don't know.)
- to use my creativity for other things - like I LOVE TO MAKE STUFF!!!
- that it's ok to not be painting all the time
- that art sales are not attached to my self worth and being an artist does not only shape who I am. (hard pill to swallow, but this is a big one)
- being a mommy is a lot of work, and not quite the bubble I had in my pre-baby fantasy BUT, it is even more amazing than I thought.
- how to ask God for help, constantly.
- TRUST. that he is so much bigger than me and that he really is in control.
- the art of photography and falling more and more in love with it each day. the way light hits an object, the angles of the tiny details, capturing a moment in history. oooooooo. it's not just about taking pictures, it's about making art.

I'm sure there is more, but this is what I can think of right now... hmm i think I need to consciously think about what I am learning more often.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Since I can remember my mom has been trying to teach me to knit. Of course defiant and rebellious I refused to want to learn something b/c she found value in it. How terrible is that? I guess a lot girls are this way, or kids in general, they know better and don't need to be told what to do. The past month or so I found myself drawn to wanting to learn how to crotchet. Determined to figure it out on my own, I looked it up online and tried to follow the instructions (god forbid I ask my mother the expert). Frustrated that the stitches just don't make sense to me, I just put it in the back of my mind, I'll figure it out at some point.

Mommy came to stop by yesterday to see little man and sat down on the couch and pulled out something she had been crocheting. She really is a pro and in my eyes can knit anything. as she sat there I was eying it, trying to figure how her hands can move so quickly, each stick so perfect and i couldn't even figure out one stitch. She said look honey it's easy, one step two step 3 step. I surrendered, I wanted to learn, she patiently showed me as I fumbled with the needle and yarn, of what over the years would probably turn into a fight from me being so frustrated, I actually got it. She was so proud!

So look at me! I can crochet, I learned a new skill this week. I didn't crotchet this whole thing those are my mom's perfect stitches, but see that last top 2 inches of sloppy, inconsistent stitch?? That's ALL ME BABY! I am getting faster, and tension is getting better, and more consistent, I am still learning but for the first time i am enjoying it.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

little lion

My little man's new word - 'raaaaaarrrrr' like a lion as he roams around the house exploring, it is followed by squeaks & squeals of delight then "booff" also a new one, I think he is copying the dog. My little lion, asleep. which is nice to see and always a great rest because, #1 - He is a BUSY BOY! and #2 at 6 months after being a wonderful sleeper - 12h straight through the night!! He stopped sleeping. UUUGHHH what a challenging 2 months it has been, I feel like a new mommy all over again, trying to function off no sleep is killing me. I am crashing. My body needs sleep!!

Soo after a VERY long night last night, (side note, he doesn't want to play, he is just crying in his sleep) of getting up and him waking every hour, uncontrollable, very difficult to calm, I sit here this morning trying to figure out what the heck is going on... Why at 6 months did the crying begin? What changed? Happy during the day then night, goes to sleep on naps, goes to sleep easy at 7:30 - 8pm every night without a peep then around 11pm or 1am starts waking every hour, screaming. We attributed it to pain, teething probably, he's cut 4 teeth since 6 months.. but nothing touches the pain, which makes me wonder though that could be it, what if it's something else. We as parents are always trying to do whats best for our little ones and i'm trying, I'm desperately trying hard, but this, ah man, minutes feel like hours, and all of our best efforts are wasted, and often leads to a very frustrated and grumpy mommy and daddy both having to take a time out while one of us gets it together and starts for the next round. Playing pass the baby was one of our specialties when Jack was just a newborn. but now at 8 months old at 1, 3,4, 5 in the morning after just barely falling asleep it starts all over again, I am about to loose my shit by the next time he wakes. One of the things I noticed very quickly when Jack was born was I have much less patience when I have no sleep. Nothing has changed. I still can't function without sleep.

Anyway, As I was reading this morning 'Sprout Right, a nutritional guide from Tummy to Toddler" I realized of course, FOOD. 6 months is when the boy started solids and they discussed a suddenly cranky baby after starting solids. They talked about possibly having too much too soon, their little digestive systems just can't handle it or can be bothered easily. Sooo I have a new path to pursue, if this is tummy pain, I know how to fix that. OVAL is our best friend.

I know this post has absolutely no amazing revelation about God or Art, I just needed to write.

Monday, September 13, 2010

feels like a while that I've painted for me. I realize the last few months, i have been slow to paint, and when I have it is usually for a commission or something for someone else. I want to be lost in my canvas. I want to dive in and and just paint out my heart. I want time to myself. ahh my almost 8 month little boy, STILL won't take a bottle leaving it near impossible to dissapear into the world of paint. I have been keeping busy though, making things, a funny sock bunny (that is very loved by my little man) some little projects underway and still trying to learn to crotchet. I am enjoying myself. I am enjoying my creativity but still want to have some alone time, just me and a paintbrush and a fresh canvas...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

mr monkey pants

crawling means,

- more bumps and bruises

- individuality
- growing up!

Sooo we are on day 3 of full on Real crawling, it is no longer random steps, short bursts or backwards, he knows how and is furiously at it. Crawling is officially a mode of transportation. Today Jack discovered the dog Bowl...
and is also finding much interest in the stairs, scaling the couch, toybox, the furniture and chasing the dog. I have a little monkey on my hands. I seem to remember blessing his creative problem solving when he was inthe womb.. well we certainly have a little smartie pants on our hands.

The best things about today.

- Jack finding the dog bowl and splash the dog while she is eating.
- then somehow soaking his entire bottom end in the dog's water dish
- climbing me while I'm on the floor.
- giving us hugs and kisses (open mouthed slobbery kiss - the best)
- crawl up us to stand
- crawling under the side table and getting stuck.
- the double step crawl (crawl crawl, hop with both legs, crawl crawl)
- the super fast crawl (arms and legs moving as last as they can and then faceplant into the ground)
- use our clothes to pull him to stand on his own beside us and balance.
- climb up the furniture, the crib, the toybox, the ottoman, the dog, then balance himself (alone!)
- sidestep along the toy box, often resulting in toppling to the ground. :(
- pull himself up to the toybox and pick the toys he wants to play with then sit back down.
- Randomly stand on his own. (NOT Holding onto anything!!!)
- playing with his toys while squatting, (haha so cute)
- fill his dump truck with toys then dump them out
- little baby hands playing with my feet while I cook dinner
- trailing around a pull toy as he crawls or putting toys in his mouth and biting down to transport them where ever he'd like to bring them in his new spot to play.
- chasing the dog and tackling him while she sleeps. baaahhhaha - dog wakes up frightened and runs away, - 5 min later the whole thing happens all over again. BBBAHAHAHA

We had a great day.. So my life will officially never be the same, a mobile child, an entirely new season of life AND I LOVE IT!

Friday, September 3, 2010


Well as you may or may not know we have had a loong awaited backyard makeover done this summer. We waiting all summer trying not to wish it away for a new tv show to come called "Decked out!" where they transform boring lifeless backyards like ours into a wonderfully, serene fantasy wonderland bursting with life and colour that it kinda takes your breath away.

This makeover started about 3 weeks ago now, they came it drew up "the vision" and we recieved a computer generated version of what our backyard would look like. Excited seeing the potential of what our home could be we signed a contract, locked in and started to wait. Waiting waiting waiting waiting. lifeless, boring backyard, sitting unused all summer!!

and then day was here, they started! at first they started digging, digging digging digging, and when you though they were done, there was more digging. They said it was the worst dig they have done in 15 years. Total destruction of the entire backyard. i couldn't believe how long this took! It seemed that 2 weeks of the project was just digging! In the midst of digging how on earth can you ever see even a hint of what it might look like in the end? My mom happened to see pics of the muddy mess and said wow what a great object lesson!

Now you have to understand something about me and God, He is continuously showing me things. I am so visual that when he really wants me to hear something he acts it out right in front of my face to make sure i am listening...
'object lesson' - bam He does it again. God showing me, putting it right in front of my face. My mudpit of a backyard is me, it is us. All of us, we are all mudpits, then he digs and digs, sometimes days, weeks or even years go by where he is digging us a but it is all for a purpose to rebuild us into masterpieces. I listened to the complaining, ahh we all do that soo well! Stupid Rocks, so hard to get out, grunting in the heat, Bricks, rocks, rebar, digging through the clay, removing it, laying a new, clean, and building a strong foundation. All for transformation. The whole project has had so many levels of building, planning and preparation just to make sure that it is all done right. It makes me stop, reminded of all those years I complained about digging, about begin dug.
So where am I now? I think i am past all the digging. I watched as they laid the foundation of the interlock and flagstone, they dig up all the earth with a huuge machine then lay new dirt down, pack it in and then do it again, each time, a new layer, building it up more and more so that the foundation doesn't shift. I was dug for years, God pulled out sooo many rocks. I think I still get dug up a bit but maybe it is just a replanting or weeding rather than the whole over haul. My foundation is laid, it is strong and unmovable. My main structures are up, and they are starting to take shape, I am starting to see the vision that Papa has for me. The one he planned long ago in old blueprints that I see resting in a cubby above his desk, I can see him pull them out and spread them wide across his desk to look at them, rather than a digital copy, his are hand drawn. with a blue illustration pencil, they are incredibly detailed & beautiful. There is so much time spent in drafting every detail of his Vision for me. He is proud of my progress.

I think this year is the time of the big build... After watching weeks of labourious work, it was amazing that once the hard work was done, and the foundation was laid and main basic structure was up, after seeing a hint of the basic shape, it all came together so quickly and became more and more beautiful... and even when it looked finished, the stylist and landscapers came to dress it, luxurious fabrics, flower arrangements, table settings, flowers and shrubs, every detail, perfect, unique and beautiful and adding their final touches. Hmm God is so good like that, even when we look done, he makes us even more spectacular, bursting with life and colour.

so it is finally finished, excited to see what God makes of me, I guess I'll have to wait and see. But as for my backyard after weeks of a mess my little oasis is here, this magical little space that kinda takes my breath away.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Painting of the Month

Hello all!

I will be starting a new "Painting of the month!" or week or something along these lines, where i paint a new painting and for a good price :) (that will usually be a fraction of the regular cost + shipping) not sure if this will be monthly or weekly or what but, i've been wanting to do it for awhile. Art should be affordable for everyone!! Works will be available to ship all over the world. I haven't decided on the sizes or the mediums I think it will just be with what inspires me. Sooo keep your heads up and email at or message me when your interested in the piece! First come first serve :)

if you haven't had a chance check out the new site

Pieces are available and available in different payment plans etc.