Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 8 & 9: Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy b...

Day 8: what seemed to be a smooth easy bedtime, I was relieved, seeing as I haven't been sleeping well lately and this whole change over with earlier wake ups, painful put downs and shorter naps is really draining the only energy I have. I rest in bed and read a magazine to fall asleep and finally around 12am I can feel my body giving up so I turn off my light and close my eyes for some much needed rest.  I crash in out bed but after a quick random, strange and disturbing dream I find myself wide awake. uggghhhh go  to sleeep!!! finally as I'm drifting out again, i hear thump, bump bump bump. our little man made his way out of bed at 12:30am. Luke so wonderfully got up and put him back to bed. then 15 min later, thump, bump bump bump, oh jeez. are we going to finally have THAT night..?  and so began the series of up and down for the next 3 hours, the 2 of of swapping together. persistence and patience. persistence and patience... finally at 3am, knowing that Luke had to get SOME sleep, I went took him back to bed one last time and decided to stay in his room in the 2nd bed on the floor b/c the problem was is that you could tell he was trying to sleep. He would go down for 15- 20 minutes then be complaining and get up crying about wanting to go night night, something was bothering him. He has cut 3 of his 2 year old molars in the last 10 days and I think he is working on the last one.  i wasn't sure what was up but he wasn't being defiant, and I felt compassion, I know what a pain it is when your body thinks that the beginning of your sleep was just a nap and then you are stuck wide awake all night. So at first i tried to snuggle into the bed on the floor with him, maybe he would be able to fall asleep in my arms but he cried. "maaaammmmmyyy, i seep, niight niight (he whimpered), big bed." (what he refers to as his bed since we changed over to big boy bed). So I put him in his bed, turned on more worship music, snuggled him in with his blankee and laid down  and pet his back and head for a while. I laid back down on the floor bed and began to pray over him while I laid there, over his sleep and protection over his dreams and that he just settles and rests. It stuck, it was 3:30am we had finally had our last up. That is until 6 am when poor little guy woke up in a fright crying. His sleep was disturbed all night (well all 2.5 hours past), up and down, whimpering not sleeping well, so there wasn't much sleep for him and not any for me.  Wow i felt like absolute ass. It can't be time to wake up yet. Luke came to help knowing I'd been up all night with him and told me to go to our room. He took Jack and put him back to sleep and let me sleep till he was leaving for work.  What a wonderful husband i have. And I turned out to be right, something was wrong with little man, he sinuses are all backed up today and had a low grade fever. poor little guy must not have been feeling great.

You know I forgot all nighters, it has been so long since Jack woke up in the night even once that I realize how much baby # 2 night feedings will wipe the floor with me at first until my body gets used to it again. Today I just couldn't get it together after that. I was a weepy mess and on my way driving in an unfamiliar area, I got pulled over by a cop as i didn't know I was driving in a 50 zone. I haven't had a ticket in nearly 10 years.  I burst out crying, a total mess, I was exhausted, overwhelmed, late for my appt, upset for this ticket b/c we are totally broke, and unknown to me it was community zone which meant double the fines. He told me it was nearly a 300$ ticket and 4 points. I didn't know I was speeding,  I was driving 75. I sputtered out in my tears some kind of plea of mercy, what a horrible last 12 hours it had been and I really didn't know I was speeding, I thought it was 70. He left checked my record etc and came back, and had mercy for me, he told me to try to relax, was kind and he was only giving me a min fine of 10 over, no points and a 65$ ticket (poor cop probably had no idea what to do with an emotional, exhausted, pregnant woman, full out weeping in front of his face).  I thanked him for not crucifying me and drove off.

Exhaustion is an interesting thing. I have been running on empty for a while but with sleep I can balance all the business of my life, projects I have to do or commitments I have made, chasing after a busy toddler, growing a baby and somewhat manage these insane hormones that have come along with this pregnancy all with a mostly level head. but without sleep i am a blubbering mess that is instantly hopeless and drowning. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this I'm just getting it out b/c I need to get it out. All i know is I need God. In the times I feel like that, he is he only one that can make me feel better and remind me I am strong.... Something I remembered 3 hours later after bawling all day. I am Strong. even when I feel weaker than I have ever felt. there is a warrior in there.
Oh please God, help me when #2 comes.

Day 9: Naptime: I was hopeful when Jack fell asleep in the car after our dr appt..  drove home he'd been asleep for nearly 45 min, I knew I could be screwed but there was no keeping him awake any longer, he was as exhausted as me. I prayed for more grace. He transferred well and slept for an other 1h45min when we got home. enough time for me to tidy, prep dinner and rest.

Day 9: Bedtime: he goes down with ease and has been sleeping for almost 1 h. Please God have mercy on us. Let him sleep through the night and wake up at 8 am.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Day 7: Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy bed..

Day 7: This morning little man was up, quiet as a mouse he snuck into our room and climbed into our bed at 6:45am. He was so cute trying to be quiet but dying to talk to us and get love and hugs and snuggles and wanting to play. I must say, i am loving this new wake up. it sure beats the alarm clock.

Today the afternoon nap happened in the car due to church running late... so we couldn't test out the usual afternoon insanity that nap time has become. This evening he was so tired from a short nap that he just collapsed in bed 1/2 hour before bedtime and didn't even want to read books. Ahh little man, you are so sweet.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Whats inside mommy's tummy?

Cutest book. My mom purchased in a little shop in Orangeville called "Nurtured" if you haven't been there check it out, or join their fb page. Mommies with #2 on the way, this is a great little book to explain what is going on in Momm'y tummy!

Day 6: Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy bed..

Day 6... but only day 3 for nap time. Night time we seemed to have conquered, he doesn't even try to make up excuses or get out, he just goes to sleep. But nap time on the other hand seems to be tough..
I think the problem lies in that I work part time. So 1/2 the time he is with me and the other 1/2 he is at a sitter. There haven't been enough consistent days with us for him to know that nap time you go to sleep with out a fight and you sleep in the bed! as soon as he starts to get it, the next day he is somewhere else. So there is not a consistent routine there that he knows he can rely on. This morning he woke up something awful like 6:30, uggh, and woke up once last night. We tried having quiet time in our bed, we tried just letting him wander upstairs, and turn on the lights dim in his room so he could play but nope, uggh he just wanted downstairs, while shaking the gate  and crying/complaining at the stairs Luke let me sleep and got up with him.

Luke is in his last course of his MBA so after a while down he went to do his work while I played with jack, but with such an early rise he was just out of sorts and didn't know what he wanted. Crying and fussy I decided even though it was earlier than normal and hoping to push him till 1 to go for a nap so I know he'd go down smooth again, by 11 am I knew it was already time. So off we went with the regular routine, brought him up to read stories in mommy's bed and i was open to him perking up and us playing longer he just started to get worse, so by the 10th book and up and down the stairs for milk, then waffles, then noodles, then cheese, which he threw all on the floor and didn't really want. We finished one last book and headed to bed. Out came the water works, upset about everything and bed and soother and blankets and dog and nothing was right for him. I tried to calm him down but nothing would work.  I find when I'm exhausted (was up till 1:30, then awaken by jack at 2:30 then again at 6/6:30 and growing a baby and not sleeping well at all) I just have a shorter fuse on patience. After the 7th out of bed and returning him, I could hear Luke downstairs and asked him to help. So then it still continued. The boy that goes donw so easy for his daddy did the same thing he had been doing to mommy, back luke with patience cont to return him to bed. After a short but LONG 10 minutes Jack gave up and climbed into bed himself and went to sleep.

So we are still on our way, hopefully he will get it soon. I know patience and persistence are key. I hope nap times get better, well they are getting better but I hope they are as good and bedtime soon enough and that he starts to nap as long as he was when he was in the crib. We seemed to have shortened to 2h instead of the great 3 - 3.5 h we were getting every day. Which right now just doesn't seem like enough of a break, but its better than nothing.  anyway, off reorganize my closet. In great need of  a dejunk in my life. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Day 4: Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy bed..

Last night went very smoothly, I went out with some some girlfriends for some "drinks" and Luke put him down the bed, he said he only got out once and Luke sent him back, he didn't wake up after that, just slept right through and woke up this morning at 7:15 sharp!

Day 4: Nap Time #2... Well yesterday was so hard that I was sure it couldn't get much worse. After a morning of playing and taking  him around to stores, getting some new shoes, and lunch at "Donalds" he came home to the expected naptime..  i tried a slightly different approach instead of just putting him down at the regular time, between 12 - 12:30 I waited till I knew he would be really tired (hoping he would just crash and not argue) and put him to bed at 1. It took him a bit of convincing to get there and fussy time during reading books, but after he realized he was indeed going to bed no negotiations, he sat down, read a book in my arms, I put him in his bed, gave him his dirty dogs, and soother, put his blankee on and rubbed his belly. He got sleepy, out I went and in under 10 minutes I was done, he didn't try to come out and just went to sleep. I'm so glad this time was easier. I hope that he settles into this quickly. I love that he loves to sleep and always has been so good at it. Unfortunately about 20 min after he went to sleep, he started to stir, woke up and began to cry. I wondered if i just leave him, he might go back down, as this what i would have done before when he was in the crib... I think it worked. He is quiet now, so I think he is sleeping. He hasn't tried to escape, he hasn't come to the door and he hasn't made any excuses. Just went to sleep.

Night Time: dang it the kid just  read books and went to sleep. no fight, no fuss. sweet dreams sweetie!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

2 years old!!!

 My little baby is growing up. I can't believe how much he has grown, how smart and hilarious he is, and how much joy he brings us. He is amazing. Every night we creep to his room and just stare at him, smiling like goofy kids at christmas over their great present. He is so big now, nearly filling his bed, wow, where did the time go? It doesn't feel long ago at all that I was holding him in my arms as a newborn snuggling him so tight.

A friend of mine recently asked me to photograph her daughters first birthday. What stood out to me were the details, she created the most incredible environment for this party and it got my wheels turning for my own little man. It was his birthday on Saturday, he is 2. I can't believe it!  We threw him a Birthday Party for him on Saturday, nothing big just a few close friends and their babies and our family. I couldn't think of a more perfect theme than Sesame Street b/c Jack Loves it! He knows all the characters and talks about them all the time, last night he even woke up from a dream talking about Ernie and Bert and Big Bird, it was adorable.. I knew that even though it was going to be a small party i wanted to do all in the details!! After weeks of crafting, cutting, making ernie and berts and cookie monsters, flags, cutting hundreds of circles (which was actually a stress reliever) lots of creative gathering of thoughts it all came together and I must say I am pretty proud. He was so happy when he came down that morning, he talked all about the decorations and  balloons and ernie and bert and elmo!  All those hours were totally worth it, just to see the smile on his face. Many sweet new things happened this weekend, just to name a couple, when asked how old he is he yells, "I TWOO" and holds out his forefinger and thumb, he sang Happy Birthday to the piano in key so soft and so sweet as he played along hitting the keys with grandma (we have never heard him sing a whole song before, it was adorable), he asked all weekend to sing skiminarinkeedinkeedink, row row row your boat, the wheels on the bus and head and shoulders (with all the actions),  and after much climbing in and out of the crib he is very proud of his new big boy bed we gave him last night, able to get in and out on his own. He is such a sweet little guy. I love to watch him grow even though I'm sad when I pack away each new item of clothing that doesn't fit him. You are the best. Happy Birthday my little man!!!

Tickles in the morning!

he woke up to a living room of balloons! he loved them, what fun!

Oscar - the garbage man (not the grouch, heehee)

some details... numbers confetti on tables
sesame street party isn't complete without bert and ernie! this was some fun cutting and pasting, I make a number of characters just by cutting out shapes from construction paper and pasting them together  like this!

loot bags, thanks for coming!

I saw this on a blog for sesame street party so cute, had to do it too, what a great idea for a snack for kids!

and so  I made some monster cookies too.

just to add a little colour to the table, pilsner glasses of jellybeans!

my cute little guy opening presents withe daddy
he was very excited about this bowling set.

and how can an artist mommy resist from buying her little boy who loves to draw and paint his very first easle.

Happy Birthday Jack, Love Elmo!

these took too long to skewer each one but they looked great.

my mom piped the letters of each kids name on their own cookie, and of course elmo is a must.

being tickled :) what a cutie, he had a lot of fun, playing and laughing, he is so great.
i wish my dinner table has this many yummy things on it every day. 

my cutie, wandering amongst the madness.

and how great are these!? Cookie monster and elmo cupcakes, I piped these all, my cookie monsters started to melt but were still cute, my elmos came out great and kept their shape.  I loved them and so did the kids.

the cupcake tower

everytone enjoying the toys

and Jack's very own 'Dorothy' just like Elmo has, a gift form his Auntie Carrie and Uncle Matt.

my little 2 year old man. He moves so much its often hard to get a picture of him. Here Daddy is giving him a massage" (jack comes up to you and asks you for a massage and when you massage his shoulders he laughs uncontrollably) what a sweetie.

good day, good friends.  i had made all these little flags and hung them throughout the house.

ohhhh present time, Lots of Thomas the Train, he LOVES trains.

just eating some elmo cupckes. jack ate one "eye" and decided he didn't want it anymore. ha!

being silly on the stairs

my cute little nephew Devin.

welcoming at the front door as you come in! 

hundred of handcut and sewn flags and circles, that was A LOT of work, but well worth it.

heehee just love these cupcakes!

Happy Birthday my little special guy. You are the best!

Day 3: Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy bed..

Nap time.. well the past 2 nights have been fairly successful, i was quite happy. Well then we reached today.. NAP TIME. The past 2 days I have been at work, so since our little switch over Jack has been and daycare napping in his playpen as usual. Until this point there has been no attempts to nap in the new big boy bed.  So I with hope, I followed our regular routine, and off to bed he went. No more than  min later he was out. So I then returned him back to bed. 30 seconds later, he is out. I return him again. and again and again and again and again and again for 1 hour and 35 minutes. So this is my afternoon, babysitting a freak'n door waiting for a small person to walk out of it. I have come to terms with that but this in and out of the bed and screaming and fits and flailing and crying, tears and excuses, I finally can relate to this book now.

I felt like when he was a newborn playing 'pass the baby' with my husband just to attempt to keep our insanity while he cried and cried.  But this time, i am alone. it is all up to me to not scream at him, burst out crying or break something. I continue to ask God for peace and stay strong because I know that it has gone on so long that if i give in, he wins. and he will do it ALL OVER AGAIN.  and with time it is really wearing me down, i am loosing patience and about to freak and right when I am about to loose my shit, he comes to the door one last time, i angrily i try not to show it but storm him back to his bed put him in and say "good night!" he looks at me and sits up, I say with desperation "no jack, its night night time" he cries, "MOMMMMMMMY!!!! .......BLAAANNNKET" (which doesn't mean he needs one, there is one in his crib, but it means he WANTS TO BE TUCKED IN NOW!! It registers to me very quickly, blanket!! HOLY CRAP blanket! FINALLY!!!!  OOOHHHH GLORIOUS BLANKET!! I HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!)

He sweetly lies down, I cover him with his favourite blanket. and he goes to sleep.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Chronicles of toddler and his new big boy bed..

Day 1: complete success. I was impressed that day 1 went off without a hitch. After much climbing out and small child smashing with incredibly ungraceful landings we decided to convert the crib to the toddler bed. We knew it was coming and wanted to hold off longer but with another baby coming in nearly 4.5 months and only having 1 crib we knew we would need to switch soon. So fearfully we did it. Day 1 he didn't notice the change. we set up a roll bar, and put a blanket over top so he still felt enclosed and safe, laid him down like we would in his crib and he was asleep as usual in minutes. THANK YOU JESUS.

Day 2: Not so smooth.... but eventually got there. The morning of day 2 he woke up at 7:15 as usual and was pleasantly suprised that he could get in and out on his own. Like it had been this way the whole time and only discovered it now. He happily jumped in and out of his bed until we left for work. Nighttime came round, Luke had class and so the routine is up to me. At 7:10 I put him in his jams, 7:18 I take him upstairs to our bed to read night night books, finish the rest of his milk, say bye bye to the milk and now we only get water until morning, and brush his teeth, read books abour brushing teeth but instead of being really focused he is a bit crazy and jumpy. The milk is done and starts to get cranky about it, I say no its all done we only get water now, it's time to brush your teeth. While he brushes, he doesn't listen to the books and brush his teeth with them as usual, though does stop to say "up and down, round and round" but then continue to barrel roll through the bed. "i jump I JUMP!"  - " No jack its time to read books and go to bed" I say. He continues to bounce. I say " well i guess book time is over, time for night night night, lets go to bed' i pick him up and we go to bed, he climbs into the big boy bed but is fussy and won't lay down. "I get out!"  - "no jack feet stay in bed, no getting out, it is bedtime" I say goodnight, put on his music and leave. He criieeeeesss and cries, but doesn't get out. I WAIT 15 MIN and then thump, bump bump bump, there he is at the door, crying, "BOOOOK BOOOK" I open the door to tell him, "back to bed", he cries and climbs back into bed. (by the way all of this is unlike him, he usually reads books and goes to sleep! he is the EASIEST KID TO PUT TO BED.) Anyway I tuck him back in he still cries and cries, i tell him again to stay in bed. I leave again, stand my the door waiting, then, bump bump bump, i put hims back in bed. 2 more times of this in a 60 second timespan we go through the same thing and i think,  good lord if I'm going to drag a toddler back to bed 100x tonight I might as well take 5 more min to read a freak'n book if it works. so I say "1 more book". We lay down in my bed as he catches his sobs and calms down. He tells me about the pictures and makes all the sound effects of the animals, after the book is done, i close it and HE says 'night night book".. UUUMMMM WHAT?  "night night milk (he sees it on the bedside table) night night light, night night room, night night car" and continues to say night night to all around him. I pick him up and walk to his room, pray over Him like every night, worship music on, lay him down and put a blanket over the roll over bar again, a blanket over him, give him his 'dirty dog' and winnie the pooh and show him that his bed is just the same, no different, the same place he sleeps every night. I say 'night night Jack'.  and he goes to sleep, only 20 min past his bedtime, it could have been way worse.. It has been 30 min. no crying, no fighting, no getting out, just a peaceful sleeping toddler....

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Winter Onederland!

It was a wonderful friends daughter, Little Miss Lorelei's first birthday in December and I was so lucky to be asked to capture it. Born to such amazingly creative parents, they didn't forget a detail. What a sweetie pie, the theme was Winter Onederland and it really was beautiful. From cupcakes to crafts and to what seemed like hundreds of hand cut snowflakes hanging throughout the house, they really made a special first birthday for their little princess. Happy Birthday Lorelei! What a beautiful Party!

cutest little birthday shoes and tutu!
beautifully decorated snowflake cookies, perfect for their theme!

little miss herself, dressed as the ONEderland Princess
little feet

a yummy hot chocolate station, complete with marsh mellows and hot apple cider
and cinnamon sticks...

I loved their home, many beautiful, unique and quirky things just like this..

lots of fun, balloons everywhere, snowflakes hanging everywhere, it was beautiful! this mommy doesn't miss a detail!

Happy Birthday to you!
and devoured!

looks yummy! i should have tried one!!

so many sweet little babies all dressed for the occasion

little crafter at work...

snuggles and tickles from mommy

enjoying her rocking horse...

Happy Birthday Lorelei!