So... here is it 41 days later, i am still painting.. i had a slight pause there but it's back. My colour
pallat has changed again but it is vibrant. Something about this all
coming out. it amazing to me the pallat changes over the years. Oranges
with the jazz series in to blues and moody beiges and browns, but now
reds and yellows and purple and green! I am excited for the vibrancy
coming out of me. new life, new beginnings, new something, over
flowing, exploding out of me. my work is so much about the process of
my heart, my mind, my spiritual journey i'm excited to see what this is
all maturing into. I still feel to paint, paint paint paint, paint
vomit... let it all out and then look at it and see what you ate for
breakfast. (lol grosse) but my point its fast, its flows, it comes out
violently, and i just need to get it all out to feel better. My studio
is quickly filling and it is wonderful to see life overflowing out of me again..
“well you pick me up and you spun me around and you set my feet on solid ground - Hallelujah! – B/c you’re so good, your soo sooo good” I have had this stuck in my head for about 3 days. And along with it has come painting! Ahhhh. i really do love painting. I finished up the last (for now) red painting, 'day 23', and continued in the same style and ventured into a new pallat. i get glimpses of what this is all about but i have yet to have the revelation of what it all means. I believe every stroke, every colour, the placement, the movement, he can speak to you about. And there millions in every painting so how exciting is that, that's a whooole lot of talking and learning and growing. I am stopping myself from evaluating. from thinking if it is good or not. I have been learning (and it has been an ongoing battle) that my value is not determined by my work, or # of sales i have. It is my heart. and really that's all that matters.Though I'm still waiting on the big revelation but i get bits and pieces. A little bit about babies, the womb, intercession, getting down to the beginning, the cellular structure, the basis, trust, rapid multiplication of cells in new life, umm a whole lot of stuff that is connected but not connected, but I assume will come together, but it has led me to a place of hope. Where things are taking off, in flight, there is some kind of release, a new season.
You know as artist we easily get caught up in the "is it good enough?" the thing is, It is not about being good - it is about self. it's about your heart. It is about growth. It is about being true to your heart and letting every part of you flow out in whatever medium it wants to. so it doesn't matter if its good. Just let it go and be secure in you as an artist and let go. Create without judging your self,without fear. Create for healing, for spending time with God, for just expressing the beautiful person that YOU ARE! I am inspired, I am motivated. I want to create. The past couple years I have been collecting. Books, materials, canvases, different mediums, papers, scratch boards, and printmaking, encaustics, a potters-wheel, clay, photography equipment. It has all been stirring in me to create, but just brewing without action. His creativity is limitless and I think that He wants us to create limitlessly (is that a word? ) so ours should be too! This has been a pretty big internal battle for some time for me.. I have been holding myself back for wayyy to long from doing some things that I absolutely love.
“well you pick me up and you spun me around and you set my feet on solid ground - Hallelujah! – B/c you’re so good, your soo sooo good” I have had this stuck in my head for about 3 days. And along with it has come painting! Ahhhh. i really do love painting. I finished up the last (for now) red painting, 'day 23', and continued in the same style and ventured into a new pallat. i get glimpses of what this is all about but i have yet to have the revelation of what it all means. I believe every stroke, every colour, the placement, the movement, he can speak to you about. And there millions in every painting so how exciting is that, that's a whooole lot of talking and learning and growing. I am stopping myself from evaluating. from thinking if it is good or not. I have been learning (and it has been an ongoing battle) that my value is not determined by my work, or # of sales i have. It is my heart. and really that's all that matters.Though I'm still waiting on the big revelation but i get bits and pieces. A little bit about babies, the womb, intercession, getting down to the beginning, the cellular structure, the basis, trust, rapid multiplication of cells in new life, umm a whole lot of stuff that is connected but not connected, but I assume will come together, but it has led me to a place of hope. Where things are taking off, in flight, there is some kind of release, a new season.
You know as artist we easily get caught up in the "is it good enough?" the thing is, It is not about being good - it is about self. it's about your heart. It is about growth. It is about being true to your heart and letting every part of you flow out in whatever medium it wants to. so it doesn't matter if its good. Just let it go and be secure in you as an artist and let go. Create without judging your self,without fear. Create for healing, for spending time with God, for just expressing the beautiful person that YOU ARE! I am inspired, I am motivated. I want to create. The past couple years I have been collecting. Books, materials, canvases, different mediums, papers, scratch boards, and printmaking, encaustics, a potters-wheel, clay, photography equipment. It has all been stirring in me to create, but just brewing without action. His creativity is limitless and I think that He wants us to create limitlessly (is that a word? ) so ours should be too! This has been a pretty big internal battle for some time for me.. I have been holding myself back for wayyy to long from doing some things that I absolutely love.
Again there is so much happening, our situation hasn’t changed but my
mindset has this week. We will live. Life will move on and I just have to
remember that God is in control.
 |
| "DAY 23"24 X 48 |
In this piece I noticed the changing of shapes, less round and becoming more oval, like wings, fluttering, and the next picture I saw that
caused me to pull out a canvas I have been sitting on for a while. A 72” x 48”
gallery canvas. I love it. (I would paint this big every time if I had the space
to store them.) I began to paint washes and washes and washed, over and over
colours layered, I am still going, and I am loving it. I miss painting this
big!!! It is about freedom. In that trust, taking flight. I will post it when it’s done but it is still in progress in painting and in my heart.
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